Hey, everybody, Andy Brown here. So I wanted to take a second right now and talk to the guys out there, one of the things that I talked to a lot of guys about is managing relationships with women. And so over the course of being married for a decade and a half, myself and of course, all of the work I do with couples, I’ve come to a couple of really key things that I’ve realized make a huge difference in relationships with women.
And one of them in particular is almost one of those things that you might consider a magic bullet. And so that’s what I want to share today. When I talk to when I talk to women, I have asked countless women this question. I have said, what is it that is most important to you in a relationship? What is the most important thing you can find in a guy? What is the most important quality? And ladies, feel free to jump in here and give your own opinion, because it may not be the same for everybody.
But every woman that I have talked to without fail has said I need to feel safe and usually they mean emotionally safe. So for a guy that can be a little bit of a foreign concept, because typically we aren’t always wired emotionally. We culturally, we don’t think emotionally. A lot of times when people talk about emotionally safe, we don’t even get it. So when I start explaining this concept, the first thing I say is, guys, how many times do you go out to your car in a dark parking lot and look underneath it and look in the back seat to make sure there isn’t somebody hiding there waiting to abduct you?
A lot of guys, probably majority of guys, unless you’ve been through something really tough, would say almost never. Right. And yet the women I talked to say almost every time because their brains are wired differently. So for physical safety, women are looking. They’re always they’re always alert. Women are going to think differently about walking down a dark alley than a guy is. A guy goes, wow, I wonder, where’s my baseball bat? And a woman goes, Oh, I don’t think that’s a good idea.
I’m just not going down there. Right. So, again, I’m making generalizations, but I’m doing it for us guys to help us understand that the women in our lives process most of the things that happen through this lens of needing to be emotionally safe. So when we say things, when we communicate with them, when we act lovingly toward them, they receive that through a different lens than we do. They need that love. They need that protection.
They need that safety because that is something that allows them to function to their fullest capacity in a relationship with us. If if for some reason a woman doesn’t feel safe in a relationship with us as a guy, it’s going to be really hard for her to be fully present and for that relationship to be good. So even though that’s a foreign concept for us guys, it’s something that we can work on and we can start talking to the women in our lives and say, hey, how what are some ways that I could make you feel safe?
What are some ways that I could help? You know, that I’m looking out for you emotionally. Maybe physical safety is a big thing, too. How can I help you in that area? And just communicating with these ladies and saying, look, this this is a little bit of a foreign concept to me as far as not feeling safe myself. But I can understand the concept and I want to do the best I can to help you feel safe in this space so that our relationship can be everything that you want it to be and that I want it to be.
And we can both kind of mutually benefit from this thing. So I hope that’s helpful, guys. And if you have other questions, feel free to message me. I’m always happy to chat, feel free to pick my brain or comment below. And ladies, like I said, chip into. We’d love to hear your opinion.