May is the month where we find ourselves celebrating Mother’s Day…flowers, cards, brunch, jewelry all ways to honor and say “I love you” to our moms. Mother’s Day can also invoke a variety of emotions and challenges for different people, here are some to consider and to be aware of in others.
JOY: Mother’s Day can bring about much joy and happiness, celebrating the gift of motherhood, the opportunity to pour into our children, the joy of having a mother who loved you unconditionally and was your biggest cheerleader. Joy in regards to a grandmother who encouraged you or joy in watching your wife nurture and raise your children. Certainly all things to celebrate–and it is a good thing to set aside a day to honor, celebrate and enjoy the gifts of the moms in your life.
GRIEF: On the opposite side of Joy, there can be profound grief, that seems to get highlighted on Mother’s Day. Perhaps it is the loss of a child, Mother’s Day is another reminder of the gaping hole in one’s heart. Perhaps it is the loss of your own mother or grandmother. Sometimes the grief of missing their words of encouragement, their voice, their humor, their cooking floods us. Sometimes that grief can be stinging–perhaps there was some unfinished issues, hurt, struggles that never got resolved when our mother passed and now we are left with a sense of feeling incomplete. I encourage you to lay all those before the Lord, and ask Him to help heal those wounds. Take care of yourself on this day, and don’t feel pressure to go out to eat, or celebrate if that doesn’t feel right to you.
ANXIETY: In today’s information age, social media, we can get overwhelmed with a sense of needing to be able to do “it all”, especially often for mother’s. There are so many issues coming at our kids, mother’s find themselves as wanting to support their kids in activities, have down time with their kids, have heart to heart chats with their kids, teach their kids, equip their kids, the list goes on and on. Mom’s can find themselves feeling inadequate, ill prepared, and fearful if they are doing anything right as a mom. Last week at church I found myself face to face with a young mom I know, but hadn’t seen in a while. The Lord impressed on me to share with her how hard mothering can be. “No one tells you, you will feel exhausted, you will wonder if you are doing it right, your toddlers won’t thank you for your patience, and you will second guess yourself.” Later that night I received a message from her stating that is exactly what she needed to hear. Who knew? The Lord did. Moms
cast your cares upon the Lord, have your heart open to being lead by the Holy Spirit and remind yourself you are in a marathon not a sprint. Give yourself grace, be humble, be teachable, support each other.
REGRET: Perhaps you are a mom whose kids are grown, and you look back and regret mistakes, things you missed, seasons your family went through, heart ache your kids experienced, mistakes your kids made and may be continuing to make. These are hard things. I want to encourage to be careful to not be so past focused that you miss present tense opportunities to correct some things, apologize for some things, encourage your kids, pray for your kids, and forgive yourself.
To all the moms this newsletter reaches Desert Streams prays God’s blessing upon you. May the Lord minister to your heart exactly what you need on Mother’s Day and may He give you clarity of vision and purpose for the days ahead. Know the you are His beloved!
Pam Stinchcomb, LMSW